If you give a husband a hat...

Cute in story form, a mouse wanting a cookie which leads to him asking for more and more stuff only ending back where he started from for the sequence to start again, but in reality the mouse would have been happily given to the science department at the nearest university if I had my way. Husband is becoming that mouse only instead of a cookie, although he probably wants one, it is hats. The quest for the perfect hat to be put on the head of a man who thinks there really is a perfect hat and will find fault in anything and everything he puts on his head because the perfect hat does not exhist. This is a  man who never wanted a hat or wore one before now, but since we now live in Iowa, wants one. We tried buying one, sadly none met the criteria. Each one fell short in some way. So, I open my mouth and say..."I'll knit you one". Famous last words. I happily went looking for yarn and cast on. Knowing he wanted something to cover his ears but did not like the look of flap hats, I found a simple 4x2 rib hat that on the male model covered his ears. I could not wait to give it to hubby, and knitting faster then normal, finished in a day. Presented it to hubby who put it on and exclaimed his ear tips were still exposed and "was the tiny hole at the crown suppose to be there?". He did wear it all last winter as he looked at every hat in the stores we went to (none were up to snuff). Near the end of last winter he decided to try an ear flap hat and thought the ear flaps might be a good idea so the quest to find one without the silly ties was on. Target had one and he got it. After a day or two of using it he declared it not warm enough because it was acrylic and made his head sweat even though he was still cold. Maybe I could make an ear flap hat in wool, but no ties. Every pattern was nixed for some reason...pattern, cable, to pointy, too floppy, and on and on. I did find a cool hat that did not have ear flaps where the back went lower then the front, think centurion helmet style. This was approved and I cast on. Sadly I picked a not too soft yarn and there was a new technique in the pattern that did not tell me how...casting on in the middle of knitting. Nowhere could I find the info that said to use THIS cast on when in the middle so I figured it pretty much was a make one over and over and proceeded. 2 mistakes added together made the hat unwearable by hubby. Granted the yarn was itchy and the hat tight but good news...ears were covered and no hole at the top. Hubby decided the pattern was too unusual and he would feel like a geek wearing it. Back to the drawing board. Found it...simple ear flap hat and the ties were optional. knowing I made the last too tight I decided to make this one a little larger then gauge. Hat was loose, very loose, almost covered his eyes loose. Could I make it again only tighter and "Oh yeah, add the ties only short ones because it will keep the ear flaps close to my head on windy days". Sigh. Frogged the hat but found a different yarn I wanted to use (the frogged yarn is sitting on my shelf in a neat ball waiting to be used again). New yarn, a soft tweed, moss green. Made the hat, checked the size halfway through and did it all perfect. No hole at top. Ear flaps. Soft yarn. And ties...that when tied were sticking out...".hmmmm, maybe that is why the ties are long " says hubby, "could you make these longer?" I am back to getting the hat just right. The yarn for the ties came from the ball of blue tweed I had planned for some mittens but after stealing almost 20 yrds from it I doubt I will have enough for 2 hands. Good news is I get to buy some yarn for me. Bad news is he wants me to make him socks next. Socks. He is already extremely picky about the socks he buys and I am suppose to make some he will not find fault with....too bad my project list is long. His socks are being moved to the end of the line, again and again. Ties, he wants long ties on an ear flap hat he said he did not want many moons ago....wait, he said he hates pompoms on hats too, just you wait, I can hear..."Hmmmm, know what might look good on this hat...